Cheery, Angua, Sally, Susan, Ruby, Sacharissa, Adora & Sybil Paaarty!
by Erbanana
Summary: Also Stars: Tawneee, Mrs Cake, Ludmilla, Precious, Ginger, Jewels, Glenda, Madame Sharn, Conina, Mrs Proust, Gladys, Iodine, Christine, Grace, Felicity, Releventia, Verity, Reet, Esk, Doreen, Marietta, Mrs Whitlow, Jane, and Margolotta. All attend Lady Sybil's graceful party. See how they dress up beforehand!
1. Cheery, Angua, Sally

Cheery spent a long time in front of the mirror, adjusting her chainmail bra she bought from Madame Sharn. Her lipstick matched her tongue. She'd brushed her teeth like Susan had told her last time, with ash and salt, and she'd combed and washed and brushed her beard.

She'd dreaded her hair with little female alchemist clips who'd inspired her; there'd been only five throughout history. Susan knew _all _of them.

*/*/*

Angua washed her hair by moonlight in a pond. She'd brought some doggy shampoo with her and flea powder. She bit open the packets with her teeth, and accidentally killed the goldfish with the overflowing conditioner pot! Oops!

The inert garden gnome made a handy dispenser for her collar. And she slipped into the warm tropical fish pond and farted to make lots of bubbles for her lady's duet.

The clown fish swam around. It had never had to deal with so much trouble since the neighbour's cat.

*/*/*

Sally slipped into something more comfortable and silky than what Tawnnee, Nobby's ex-girlfriend, had provided for her last time.

The dress was leather and PVC and black all over except for this little white V on the back near her nape. She'd cut the red-text-on-black label out using her watch sword, so she couldn't take it back. She'd also ripped fashionable layers out of it until it matched Ankh-Morpork's current vampire trends for twee introvert fashion. John Smith would approve. It looked like she worked in a stake factory.

She also wore high heeled boots laced up and down the back and the side seams. Her dress had a split skirt and over-powering bodice section. It wasn't the white nightie look of old; it was the human gothic-look of new. Underneath, she wore nothing but perfume and invisible knickers.

Sally spent a lot of time polishing her nails and fangs. She had very good tooth-whitener, and skin bleaching. She'd hung up all her micromail watch armour to dry. On her head, she wore a black PVC leather hat decorated with red ribbons and dark blue feathers. She had a green belt on and little yellow V's inbetween her fingers on her gloves.

She had purple lipstick on and white blusher. She wore white eyeliner, and black eyeshadow. She wore her nude concealer and foundation powder. She had extensions in her hair and had little clips that looked like bats around her neck like where Angua wore her dog-collar.

Sally kissed at the empty space in the mirror that should have showed the reflection of anyone other than a vampire.


	2. Susan, Tawneee, Ruby

Susan's hair re-established itself atop her head. She had a smear of mustard and ketchup on her face from eating curry with granddad. She wiped it off in preparation of putting makeup on. She washed her face using water and honey. She dried herself with a towel.

She washed her hands using mild soap and water. She dried these also.

Susan applied a base layer of foundation, and used concealer over her birthmark – the scars granddad had left on her father. Afterwards, she added blusher, slightly the wrong shade for work, and applied ginger-red lipstick. She wore green eyeshadow and dark green mascara. She added five beauty spots, and tried to keep her hair calm enough to use a brush.

*/*/*

Tawneee levered herself out of her skimpy work outfit and worked her way into a silk bra. She wore mismatching knickers she'd stolen from work before Nobby and Fred arrested her for excessive mumping. Her knickers were snow leopard print with gold trimming and "Go girls!" written into the crotch.

On top she wore perfume, lots and lots of purple/pink body spray that smelt like blackcurrant and raspberry. She covered herself in rosy body powder and gold glitter.

Tawneee wore a silk scarf that was cream coloured to match her little black dress. Her dress was floor-length and hopefully, scarily, suitable to star in with a party hosted by Lady Sybil for all the women mentioned in a _The Times_ article by Mr. Twit T. Pratchett.

It was a women's need to know list, about the influential and less influential women mentioned in L-Space. Mr Twit T. Pratchett may have been a woman wizard wearing a beard, before (s)he was confirmed to be eaten by the Luggage.

Tawneee finished off her outfit with a cloud of deodorant and diamond earrings.

*/*/*

Ruby, wife of Detritus, and a former strippergram, was stuck at what to wear for Lady Sybil's ball.

She was used to piling on coats for her former job. These days, she worked in a café as a writer. She was one third into a book about _Holy Wood_, her life, Ginger's life, and how her husband saved them all by holding up the roof.

She shut Brick out of the bathroom and began her daily makeup routine to his cries.

First, she applied foundation with a lady's builder's trowel, and patted in the plaster into the crevices for a smooth veneer. She painted in lovely lady moss and polished her head.

She wore a belt studded with plaster cat and ferret skulls. Her loincloth levelled below her knees; it was cheetah fur from the Klatchian continent, and a birthday present from Detritus. On her fingers, she wore feminine dwarf rings and also wore a dwarf bracelet. All dwarf jewellery was infused with magic. On her head, she wore a fake _Holy Wood_ tiara she'd brought home with her. It was out of a human movie, and it was designed to look ancient and mossy. Trolls loved it, including her, and she'd visited the set at least nine times before Morry and Rock dismantled it. She knew both of them, but Detritus for some reason didn't get on.

Ruby drew on a fake tattoo from _Elves, You've Gotta Love Them_, and borrowed a chainmail bra from _The Adventures of Herrena The Brave_ that fitted her, and had previously fitted a male troll cross-dressing as a barbarian slave-owner.

She paraded around in front of Brick and a relaxing Detritus.

"How do I look?" she asked.

"Like a pearl," answered Detritus, without looking up much. He was still reading reports from work, or the Street Kid Football results from Carrot's team.

"Do I look like da rocking bomb?" she asked Brick.

"Yes, mam," said Brick.


	3. Sacharissa, Adora Belle, Ludmilla

Sacharissa adjusted her bra... and it collapsed! She was so large in the boob department, she practically needed a da Quirm to engineer a new support structure other than creaking whalebone. It needed an under-carriage, an over-carriage, a stem-structure, and an engine.

The dwarfs were still scratching their heads over it. Almost every design fell flat.

Sacharissa walked out of the brassiere shop in disgust.

*/*/*

Adora limped over to the cigarette vendor, bought five packs, lit up one sixth of the first, before hurrying back to business. She was a millionairess these days. She bumped into Lady Sybil before she made it home.

"I'm having a party!" announced Lady Sybil. She was wearing a very dashing layered wig in glam-rock colours. A swamp dragon zoomed around her feet. Young Sam dangled from her wrist in an elasticated leash.

Adora lit up a wedge of twenty-dollar bills and waved it around. "What time?" she asked.

"About ten," replied Sybil, pushing up her bra.

"Is it fancy dress?" asked Adora.

"No," said Sybil. "But it's women only, leave your husband and baby at home, and bring the girls!"

Adora paused with her key in the lock, and two fags in the mouth. "Who's invited?"

"Cripslock, de Syn, Christine, Madame Sharn, Lady Margolotta, Rosie Palm, Sandra Battye, Mrs Cosmopilite, Mrs Cake—"

"_The _Mrs Cake?" A cigarette dropped out of her mouth. "They're a bit old, Sybil," she said, dropping the lady and feeling daring. "What about Ludmilla?"

"Yes, her, too. And Angua and Cheery and Sally and Susan Sto Helit. And the poo lady, Ms Beedle."

"That's all right," sighed Adora. "I'll be there at eleven."

*/*/*

Ludmilla noticed that Angua came back along Elm Street wet and shiny. Her fur streamed out behind her, as per that wizard advert about golden retrievers. She left elongated stride pawprints along the pavement.

"Mum," whined Ludmilla, pawing the window shut, "do we really have to go?"

Mrs Cake was wearing a cream dress and a large cream-white bonnet decorated with ghosts. She wore high heel boots in navy and also navy stockings. Her garter was showing off messages from the afterlife, scrawled in neon magic. Her bloomers were just visible under her skirt, and apparently she hadn't noticed.

Her mother squawked, and immediately tore off the cream dress and changed into another. Ludmilla wondered if fur and only fur was acceptable.

Ludmilla had a shave and tried to feel undead or normal. She wore a long white and black striped dress that matched her cherry-brown fur the best. The white was see-through, and the black was powdered coal-coloured. She wore kitten heel orange-red shoes and no socks. Her knickers were black, white and drawn in red flowers that looked like lipstick stains. She wore no hat.

Her mother, Mrs Evadne Cake returned back to the main dressing room. She was now wearing work black, and a long cream skirt to her calves. She wore lots of witch silver bangles and a gold stopwatch dangling on a long chain tied to her wrist. She had red earrings and delightful makeup.

Both wore the same perfume; it smelt like fuchsias.


End file.
